Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do vagina's smell?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
