Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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