Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
