Dual....:-)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
