I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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