I want to have your abortion
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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