No stitches, just platelets and will power
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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