If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
