she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i out mim tonsoeep
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