I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
im on a boat
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