i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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