We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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