Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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