i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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