I just cut my nipple shaving
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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