Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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