hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Someone shattered a urinal.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Randomize
