just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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