This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
