I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
