It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
