I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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