Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
