He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
