she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
