white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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