she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
