I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
