matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
