I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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