You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This is the high leading the old right now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
