Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love having hate sex.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
