I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
