im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize