I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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