you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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