Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I bet he comes in French.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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