Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
