No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
