just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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