Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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