she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
