one two three fourrrrnication!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Life is so much better after having sex.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
