so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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