u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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