She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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