Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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