Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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