So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
