i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
