hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
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It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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