So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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