me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Small penises have feelings too.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
