She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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