nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the liver wants what the liver wants
this hospital has no fireball
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
