So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My vagina is officially offended.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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