His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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