"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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