when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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