He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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