Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
