I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
