Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
