To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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